Back from book out again! Feel so relieved of this week. Tiring and boring week.

Key events? Threw Hand Grenade, yes an actual one with the boom boom sound and smoke and dust and all that. The vibration was awesome, and the sound of the grenade exploding from far somehow appears to be louder than when it's near.

Had Individual Field Craft after that, and ended up spraining my shoulder joint plus scratched my specs. Not sure if I wanna change my specs now, but I'm more worried about my joint hindering fieldcamp. Sigh. I so so  need this Field Camp and SIT test. Gonna have to hiong through the shit if I want to get into command school. Especially when I've got my IPPT and SOC at such a good standard.

Personal life wise, I really really miss Ryan, and I think I'm going to get to meet him later, or so I hope. Things have somehow been really rough for the both of us I guess, and hopefully we'll both manage to hold on.

Moving on, yes it's good to have you back. The feeling of having somewhere that I belong. Yet somehow I still feel a little withheld. Caught up in between mustering that courage to give my all, and giving everything up and pushing people away. Will figure things out in time.

Sometimes I'm really tired of getting to know new people or having people back in my life whom I've lost previously. The possible unseen and unknown motives, the path of friendship or relationship that we'll take, and everything that comes along with everything. And blind faith is the one thing that I'm running low on.