Have not been doing well lately, kinda cooped up at home and stuff. Luckily I've got somebody to text and accompany me.
Here are my views on relationships. Never leave regrets. I begged, cried, fought and lost because I wanted to leave no regrets in my life if I moved on, not because I still hoped you'd stay, for I know you probably won't. To an undeveloped relationship, if I left without a word or sound, it means I expect you to be back in the near future. If I told you I'd always be welcoming you back with open arms, it means you'd prolly be coming back months or even years later. I'm sorry if I left us, but I am sure that plenty of chances are present in the future. So let's just look at things with an open mind, and steer clear of being bias.
However, understand this, teenage romance will never last. Yes, even at the age of 20. I'm still considered a teenager okay LOL. HAHAHA. Don't laugh! I did. Hehe. Teenage romance never last in society nowadays, because of the insecurities present and how much the other party is not able to handle them, because of the restrictions one gets from the other and the other trying to break free, or due to any other reason. But let me tell you this, the only way a teenage romance will last, till the end of heavens from the beginning of the universe, is when parties look after each other's insecurities, yet not allowing each other to implement restrictions upon each other.
When your partner tells you this, if you don't like it, say it. Make it clear, and try to meet each other halfway if it is really that hard. Don't leave, don't avoid the problem and think that you're not meant for each other. The thing is, not one couple gets together and realises that there are totally no problems between them, because every person is in a different world. Everybody are miles apart, due to the experiences they have gained from, be it work, relationships or school.
You might be an innocent one who hasn't lost his/her virginity(I know it sounds ugly but yea, society is like that now), yet still finding the first and final one to be together with, but the other party may be one whom have had sex with countless partners, tons of tons and relationships. You, being a first-timer giving a shot at love, will be holding nothing back, be afraid of nothing and have gallons and gallons of trust, while the other party may be so held back due to the past experiences and by all the insecurities and doubts he/she has in himself or herself, that suddenly you will feel that the distance is so far, you suddenly have difficulties communicating and things like that. But let me tell you this, work at it.
Take it slowly, because love and life is meant to be like this. You meet tons of people from all kinds of different walks of life, and when you choose one, no matter which one, it is going to be tough on the both of you, to try to come to a conclusion regarding the environment, genre and lifestyle of life the two of you are going to live together. Because Human Nature leaves us with no choice but to succumb to the fact that every single person has been living different lifestyles, be it healthy ones or unhealthy ones, cheerful ones or depressing ones, manipulating ones or being a victim of manipulation even. It will be hard to comprehend the other's mind and way of thinking, for nobody understands who you are and what you have gone through for so many uncountable seconds of your life because they have not gone through the same things as you did.
Nobody will know of whatever that has happened, no matter how much you confide or try to relate to them. It will definitely be a tough process understanding the way things work according to the other's perception, but as long as one perseveres, there will come one day when both parties will finally come to this cross junction, and finally pick the one same path to walk down together for the rest of their lives.
I'm not saying that one should always hang onto teenage relationships and stuff, but know when to and when not to. When the other party has moved on so long ago or found another partner, stop trying, and give up. Only hang on when you are certain both parties still love each other and yearn for each other, no matter if the presence of sparks and flames and everything are still there, of which will slowly disappear after the 3 months honeymoon and due to time, and that both parties are still willing to work hard for each other. The absence of sparks and flames will gradually and unavoidably, be replaced by the familiarity between the both of you.
That's generally speaking. As for myself, I'm not going to look back anymore. I have tried my best in salvaging every relationship, be it those uncompleted ones or ones that I have been a failure in. I have tried being the best boy one could have, acknowledged what every girl hopes for their man to be and turned into somebody who fulfills every girl's dream only for my own girl, thrown away my pride, put down my ego, broke down my walls and emptied my pockets. Perhaps this is not the right way, perhaps it is but it's just unappreciated. I am not going to stop trying and stop giving a shot at love. Everybody deserves a chance, as well as a second chance. Especially at New Year(Okay I have been too influenced by movies like New Year's Eve and The Vow). HAHAHA.
Oh well. So yeap. I am not going to state what I have done in details, but I can tell you I'll give you the ride of your life, and am willing to bring you to your life's destination in love, as long as you're willing to as well. So readers, open your hearts, clear your doubts and strengthen your heart, for you're going to come on another ride along with me sooner or later, hopefully. LOL.
Anyway, I have started to work out from today, and I realised everytime I stopped working out and got back to it, my figure's like a deflated balloon that's just waiting for air to be blown into it. Now it's inflated again, laughs. Gym time soon! Just doing the maintenance since I have not been really getting enough sleep nowadays. Oh well. Spare me the explanation on why I'm not able to sleep alright? Hahaha.
Goodnight now, and hopefully everything for the next month goes smoothly, because I don't want to enter NS with a heavy heart. I really don't want to. Lastly, sorry for the long wordy post and I love you guys.
